When my oldest son was four, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Kidney reflux. This resulted in a bilateral ureter reimplant surgery and a 5-day stay at Riley Hospital for Children. He is now a healthy and active teenager and lives a normal life. I honestly haven’t given much thought to kidney’s since then or their extremely important job of cleaning blood and waste. These beans actually have a really special function!
In 2014, I started experiencing what I called “Machete” headaches. Think really awful “B” slasher movies. It was beyond painful and the most horrific experience of my life. This led me to an amazing Neurologist and eventually through many difficult tests and procedures that I hope to never repeat a Stage 3 Autoimmune disease, IgA Nephropathy. Essentially, my kidneys attack themselves and “gunk up” my filtration system. Through drug therapy, I was able to go into remission in late 2016. However, several months ago, I started having neurological symptoms (my Neurologist and Nephrologist think it’s really cool that my kidney disease presents with brain stuff. I do not think it’s cool and would prefer to just have garden variety boring stuff) again and knew that something was up. My IgA is active again (I’m no longer considered in remission) and I’m now on the same course of treatment that I was on two years ago. I feel frustrated that I’m back at square one. This isn’t how I wanted to start my summer. This isn’t the plan I have for my life. It makes me tired, gives me brain fog and those who know me as an outgoing person, I would prefer to retreat to the safety of my house less I can’t find the right word to say (I feel like I’m processing through jello). Now we throw in the high dose steroid and I’ve got “hulking out” to deal with too. I feel like I could lift cars! But not in the “Oh, wow she must be a powerlifter” way. It’s the “Holy cow, here comes Satan” way. Not good!!
I’m reading a really amazing book by Max Lucado right now called “Anxious for Nothing.” I highly recommend it. The intention is that when we practice CALM we are able to focus more on God and less on our troubles. The acronym stands for:
C- Celebrate the goodness of God
A- Ask for what you need
L- Leave it with Him
M- Meditate on good things
In full disclosure, I get hung up on L. I keep wanting to go back and check to make sure God got the memo. How’s he doing with that one? Does he need any help? Is he making progress? Ugh, my biggest obstacle is always ME! So, while I wait for the meds to work and I deal with my “roid rage” I’m going to work hard to Leave it with Him. I know that God’s got this and I’ve been specifically meditating on the verse from Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
I’ve been called according to his purpose and that’s pretty awesome! I love him and believe his promise to me that all things he will work for good. I can handle the “roid rage”, brain fog, and host of other symptoms because I have hope in a loving God and his goodness (even when I’m in the parking lot turning green and flipping cars).