“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Phillipians 4:6-8)
I’ve been asked to speak to a MOPS group tomorrow and the topic is “Faith over Fear Parenting.” What I really want to do is tell these beautiful, sweet young moms who are nursing their little darlings that still smell good (ahhhhhh is there anything better than new baby smell????) that this is the easiest it will ever be…drop the mic…and move on with my day! They haven’t entered into school (bullies), sports (cuts), academics (what do you mean a “C” was your best work???), hygiene (deodorant does a body good), driving (I don’t even have the words), interest in the opposite sex (that was a fun talk…not) and preparing to send said darling baby to college because he’s now at 18 year old adult man because you once blinked and that’s how fast the time has gone.
I won’t do that because no matter what I say or what anyone would have said to me, it’s hard to imagine when you’re in the trenches of motherhood that it will truly go that fast. When carseats were tough and you had to go to the fire station because you didn’t trust your own instincts that baby Scooter was truly safe. I remember being convinced that Connor would be a bilingual baby so I started labeling everything in Spanish and English…nothing prepares you for the disappointment of your pediatrician sending you to First Steps because forget Spanish…he’s not even speaking English…
The worry, the anxiety, the stress, that “Am I good enough” is enough to drive a woman over the edge. If it weren’t for one critically important thing. You are never alone. Not for a minute and it’s not the baby pulling at you or your toddler watching you go to the bathroom. It’s not your husband or your friends (although NEVER underestimate the power of your girlfriends). You’ve got a Heavenly Father that always on your side! In the worst of times…he is there. When you fall, he is there. Your biggest cheerleader? Again, it’s God. My advice to these wonderful moms is to be so reliant on God that he’s your first thought when you wake up and your last thought as your head hits the pillow. Yes, struggles, tragedy, exhaustion, depression, surprise, wonder, absolute delight, storms, pain, joy….they are all part of parenting. It’s the ultimate ride in your favorite amusement park. God is beside you, sometimes carrying you, every step of the way. Fear is a sense of danger. This is reality. Your children could be put in a fearful situation. Don’t do that!! When we get bogged down by anxiety that’s the “what if” game and homey don’t have time to play that game. It’s dangerous, worry has no place in your life and take it to God. He’s the creator of the world…he’s big enough to handle your problems and help Junior out too.
I would never diminish the relentless job of parenting and we are all in this together. I want to encourage you to be a light for those around you. Some of us are struggling and the struggle is REAL. Be a friend, get a tribe, don’t to this alone. And above all, do not judge other women or other parents. I saw something on Facebook recently that said “Motherhood is like eyeliner. We are all just winging it!” True that!
Kristin Lehr 